And I will fall into the graces of love

2009-03-05T00:31:00.002+08:00

I'm so sorry for breaking my high mood but today was just devastating. I don't know it's as if I jerked out of myself and have become another person. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself but sometimes I can't help but feel helpless amidst my predicament. everything seems to crash down on me and there's a right time for everything including misery and so I feel like I need to cry and I just did. I mean ok I might be high but deep inside I'm just another boy and not a man because I believe a child lives in everyone. And it's at times like these when I realised who my true friends are and who are the ones that come and go like falling leaves of an autumn maple. Even the craziest of characters have emotions, just so you know. If the ones judge you by your friends or even the person you portray to be but not know you, thou beest distanced away from them I must be.

We may not be tough enough to live on the truth alone, but you know, we don't need to be.

The Most Primitive Of Thoughts

2009-01-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

Hey peepies! Haha didn't think I would actually start blogging again but ya here I am looking for an avenue to vent all my anger, frustrations and emotions! Haha ok I used to think blogs are pretty pretentious since I felt like I was writing to nobody or a group of audience I didn't know and I still do! Perhaps being myself and saying what I feel like saying without bottling everything up would somehow make my everyday brighter so ya, we'll see how it goes! And on top of that this could probably raise my english standard so why not! I know my skin might be inappropriate for a guy like me but it attracts me so..Haha and I needed a breakaway from being old emo Yijun so I'll be trying hard to fuel my happy hours with the revamp! =D

Ok anyway today has been hell of a day! Mondays are 4 straight blocks from morning and Tuesdays and Wednesdays are 5 straight blocks! Reality of looming A levels surely seems to set in since the day school merely began. Besides magnificent talentime and its collage of wonderful performers Ong Lai brothers, Sze Yen, Nabil, Fadhilah and Bryan's dance troupe, there was Drama Feste meeting! Ok Mr Lion was hilarious as usual with his intellectual jokes here and there throughout the briefing but certainly the timeline and calendar of events weren't a delight to see. Week after week, day after day there seemed to be something to work diligently for in Term 1! Ok truth of the matter is, I was thinking my life would be nothing but A Levels, gym, swimming, running, basketball, Council, CCAD, MSU, Team Raffles, Orientation, EA, Council Camp, Drama Feste, IHC cybergames, chess, water polo, PAP YEC, R Project, Swimming Camp, or at least that's what I think. Haha so much for nothing. I'm definitely in for a hectic race to the finish line. Omg I cannot emphasise how bordersome it is to dwell on laborous issues as these, having to anticipate how much time you would NOT have to do something at the expense of another! Haha ok somehow my heart felt obliged to let the world know about my life as it is now, or rather to an imaginary audience linked through cables.

On a side note, I'm glad to to be consciously aware and knowing I'm actually sitting still, listening and concentrating during lectures, instead of the usual talking and meddling with my own stuff. Peculiar thing is, I actually did homework of a different subject in almost all my lectures! Haha ok Yijun is weird and so is everyone with their individual perks, at least then I know i'm a human being like all my friends. To all my beloved friends and acquitances, we'll strive not only to survive but to excel and have our dreams and desires fulfilled this year! We must and we will, with love, together. =D

We may not be tough enough to live on the truth alone, but you know, we don't need to be.

2007-03-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

It’s never been easy for me

To find words to go along, with a melody

But this time there’s actually something, on my mind

So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I’ve met you, my whole life has changed

It’s not just my furniture, you’ve rearranged

I was living in the past, but somehow you’ve brought me back

And I haven’t felt like this since before Frankie said relax

And while I know, based on my track record

I might not seem like the safest bet

All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet

For years I’ve been telling myself, the same old story

That I’m happy to live off my so called, former glories

But you’ve given me a reason, to take another chance

Now I need you, despite the fact, that you’ve killed all my plants

And though I know, I’ve already blown more chances

Than anyone should ever get

All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet

Don’t write me off just yet

Great song yeah? If only the download isn't that muffled.

2007-03-12T22:08:00.000+08:00

Hey all. Whoa. Its been ages since i even visited my own blog. Jokes. lol. Oh wells. I guess i'm a changed person now? Maybe not to some. But oh wells. Here's the entire lyrics of a song that really expresses me real well now. I don't think there's a need to tell you the title cos the lyrics really tells alot. Its a really old song btw (1999). lol. Well so its up to you to decide whether i'm changed. lol. Here's it.

Baby you're so beautiful,

and when i'm near you,

i can't breathe (i can't breathe),

A girl like you gets what she wants,

when she wants it,

You're so out of my league (out my league),

I show you no emotion,

Don't let you see,

what you're doin' to me (that's what you seeing baby),

I imagine the two of us together,

but i've been living in reality.

Fear of rejection,

kept my love inside,

But time is running out,

so damn my foolish pride.

I don't care if you think i'm crazy (crazy),

It doesn't matter if it turns out bad (i don't care),

I've got no fear of losing you,

You can't lose what you never had.

Now i'm gonna confess,

that i love you, (love you),

I've been keeping it inside (inside),

feelin i could die,

But if you turn away,

baby that's O.K.,

At least we had a moment,

before you say goodbye,

You can lose what you never had.

Rules are made for breaking,(breaking),

Nothing ventured nothing gained,

I'll be no worse off,then i am right now,

and i might never get that chance again, baby.

Fear of rejection,

kept my love inside,

Told my heart i didn't want you,

but i lied,

I don't care if you think i'm crazy (i'm crazy),

It doesn't matter if it turns out bad (doesn't matter if it turns out bad),

I've got no fear of losing you,

You can't lose what you never had (yeah).

Now i'm gonna confess that i love you,(i love you)

I've been keeping it inside (inside),

feelin i could die (i could die),

But if you turn away, baby that's O.K,

At least we'll have a moment before,

you say good-bye (before you say goodbye).

Here on the outside looking in,

Don't wanna stay dreaming bout,

what could have been,

Need to hear you speak my name,

even if you shoot me down in flames.

I don't care if you think i'm crazy (i 'm crazy baby),

It doesn't matter if it turns out bad (if it turns out bad),

I've got no fear of losing you,

You can't lose what you never had.

Now i'm gonna confess that i love you (that i love you girl),

I've been keepin it inside,

feelin i could die (die),

But if you turn away,

baby that's O.K,

At least we have a moment before,

you say good-bye.

You can't loose what you never had,

You can't loose what you never had......

~I tried to let her go. Apparently my heart doesn't allow me to. ~

2006-09-24T11:41:00.000+08:00

hihi. wa shit man. Dono why recently people have been saying im super emo and pessimistic la. I think it must bcos of the posts i did on my blog la. They say it sounds sad and stuff. But really mehs? But everyone has their happy and sad episodes in life right. Well that was when i was sad la. But now im all ok la. Cos i'm finally able to get over some stuff. Well here's my advice. Don't let the small things get to you (from val, my treasured counsellor. haha), don dwell on the pain failures. let them go and you'll be albe to see the bright side of life (this one i got from myself) AND DON'T EVER FALL IN LOVE. IT SUCKS. i mean..for now la. Cos right now stupid girls will be saying irritating stuff like 'I think I'm too young to be in relationship' (which in the first place we (guys) didn't even say that) and 'have you thought of the consequences? What if I don't end up being with you? Won't all your love be wasted?' Wa knn..as a matter of fact, we like/love you not to think of the consequences la. Walau eh. if its like that then people won't be getting married or be attached already. I mean..what matters most is as simple as the fact that we like you la. Things like 'if you don't end up with me' we can think about it later right? Besides, girls..if you don't like this guy. Just tell him, break his heart ONCE and end the whole thing. Don't go beating about the bush for ages and expect him to understand that he is not meant for you can. It hurts la. I know you girls ahv ethe privilege to choose and SLOWLY pick for that DREAM GUY of yours but don't have to continually break some guy's heart and make him feel sad, rejected, unwanted, sinful, idiotic, guilty and dono what for shit can. Worse of all, don't go acting like you are someone else when he is not there la. Cos it reallysort of makes him feel like he's tehe one making you uncomfortable. just be youself la. Anw. the thing is guys..DON'T EVER FALL IN LVOE OR THINK YOU LIEK A GIRL NOW. It will affect you liek shit la. Don't believe can ask the famous NG JIA HAO, my good fren. Apparently he seems to be experiencing the same problems i did before. But oh wells, i managed to sort it out. Well now its his turn and i don't know how he is going to tackle it la but just don't la. We know how SHITTY it feels man. Oh ya. And 1 more thing, to all girls..whenever a guya sk you out one on one..if you are going to wathc movie together (which is most liekly the case) please let the guy pay for the tickets and stuff can. I mean..you may not understand but we feel obligated to foot for everything since we liek you la. Don't go like arguing and paying even for HIS tickets. it really makes us feel guilty can. Like we will think 'this girl is doing this cos she doesn't want me to like her' and stuff. Ok. That's all i ahve to say. Mab i should call this post advice for premature 'lovers'. lol. Oh wells. Cya guys around. I'll post whenever i feel liek it la. So don't chase me. haha. cos i might be quite busy nowadays with all the hectic schedule for tests coming up. Oh and can all who come to my blog pls LINKKKK me. I'm desperate. haha. THANKS! (:(: With love..

2006-09-22T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's funny when you find yourself

Looking from the outside

I'm standing here but all I want

Is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe

Miracles could happen

Cause now I have to pretend

That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale

A dream when I'm not sleeping

A wish upon a star

Thats coming true

But everybody else could tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody

That I heard you singing

And when you smiled

You made me feel

Like I could sing along

But then you went and changed the words

Now my heart is empty

I'm only left with used-to-be's

And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale

And dreams were meant for sleeping

And wishes on a star

Just don't come true

Cause now even I can tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

Because I liked the view

When there was me and you

I can't believe that

I could be so blind

It's like you were floating

While I was falling

And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view

Thought you felt it too

When there was me and you

2006-09-01T23:51:00.000+08:00

Are we gonna stay like that forever?

2006-08-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

Hey. sigh. So much have happened in my life recently. Cried, laugh, smile, tear. In the midst of all my hectic schedules, i started thinking why did so many people in this world have to end up concealing their feelings and deceive others and worse still themselves int he process? Most people tend to pen down and record the things which happen each passing day. But what's the whole point of telling the whole world what you have eaten and/or what you have done? We're all so afraid of writing such intimate personal matters on the net, we end up reporting to everyone else how we spend our days so to satisfy other's curiosity and at the same time not crossing the boundary of airing our own laundry in the public. Clearly the whole purpose and meaning of writing diary entries is lost.. If we can't even be frank to ourselves, who can we be totally true to? Sigh of course, blogs have become so public that I can no longer pen down my emotions without thinking of the consequences. Sometimes I wish all those around me can be a little tactful and give me the tiny space I need to breathe, and not to overjudge me for what I have done, for what I have said, and for what I have become or who i just truly am. But of course there are always these insensible 'irritables' who think they are just trying to be funny by teasing u and your loved one, not knowing amongst these teasing is the gradual tearing-apart of this becoming-stressed relationship. I mean, what's wrong with liking, or loving for the matter, a girl (or guy)? Would it be funny if someone teased u about your love for your parents? I guess not. However true enough, we have to be responsible for our actions, for what we say, but can't I have these moments when I can just be someone unnoticeable and just say what I feel? Something like getting lost in your own world? Because of the many things (emotional [again im hiding the truth u see]) which happen so recently, I often get some chances to ask myself, "Am I truly happy?" I believe many would agree, as time goes by we slowly forget how true happiness feels like because we're immersed in a world of complicated emotions and I can no longer describe how the feeling of real joy is. Many a time I'd recall how heated a quarrel can be like between a friend (more often than not with this special person) and myself, and I remember the laughters we had, tears we shed, and how happy we felt after 'reconciliation'. Now? We often "swallow" how we feel because we believe that we're sensible teens, and we will not cause trouble by being unreasonable and all just by starting up a quarrel. So we often end up compromising ourselves, forgetting that we have disappointed ourselves in the process, as we never make ourselves heard or known to the person who matters to you most. I know many will not agree with me, and believe that peace between a couple is always the best way to survive a lasting relationship, but believe me, when you can no longer be real in front of your dearest one, you have slipped away between his very own hands... Why else would trust be recognised as the key to maintaining relationships?

Sometimes you just hope all this was just part of a long-lasting dream so when you awake from it, everything would just turn out fine.

Am I ever going to get a chance to show you my real self? Can I be happy once more?

2006-08-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

Ever felt like u wanna get close to someone but u feel helpless cos ure so apart? U never miss the water until its gone. Isn't it funny how so people walk in and out of your lives but only a few stay truely in your hearts? Isn't it strange how you could actually like and later fall so deeply in love with that one girl of all the girls in your life which you know you will love forever no matter how much she dislikes u or how far you are apart? Isn't it crazy how even a 'Hi' from her would make you smile for the rest of the day? Cos all that matters to you is only the way u care for her. she'd be the only girl i'll ever fall in love with. I wish..i wish..wish..

2006-07-29T20:34:00.000+08:00

Hi all. guess my blog's dead for like dono how long. But oh wells. Life right now is..hmmm..bad? How would u feel, if u lived a life that's full of thoughts, thoughts that u can't convey. U are aware of all that's happening around u but all u can do is keep it to yourself because u know no one's there to listen, to understand, to show sympathy, to show empathy. U wanna let everyone know that you're happy and appreciative for their appearance in your life. U wanna let her know just how much u care for her. U know ur own feelings so well but people just think its all but a joke. They don't believe u. They don trust u. Instead, they doubt u, make fun of u, hurt ur feelings and even criticise. If there was a button, where u can press and it transport u back in time, i would spend my whole life rewinding the parts when we were happy. i just thought, why do things always have to turn out the way opposite of what u want? Why won't life ever just go according to ur wishes and dreams? Why won't people u know, your parents, your friends, your closest friends, your loved ones, ever understand u? Why won't they just try and put themselves into your shoes and realise what you're going through is not as eva smooth-sailing and wonderful as they expected. I guess learning just this is a difficult thing. Bcos so many times, when someone scolds u and u think he's angry, he's not. Its just another case of 'kou3 shi4 xin1 fei1' and yet u get misunderstood so badly. And for that, u feel like just banging ur head against the wall and try all means and ways to make her understand but no matter how hard u try, all u get is ignorance and regret. Then u think to urself all day and night, how could u eva let go of something so beautiful, so fine, something u cherish more than ur life, ur everything. Why? And with every thought, it just tears u apart so quickly, from a happy-go-easy person into a lifeless spirit. It just turns your world upside down. U hate the things us ed to like and everything becomes meaningless to u. Things happen so fast u barely find your place in reality no more. U keep trying to hold onto something that wasn't there, doesn't belong to u but meant the world to u. It funny how such feelings even exist, how it could bring a guy so strong down to tears, feeling every drop of it rolling down his cheek. One moment you're both strangers, and u find urself confessing your feelings for her the very next. It isn't easy caring for someone in silence, despite knowing ur many flaws and all u can do is tell yourself 'i'm not meant for her, maybe she'll be happy with someone else', when all u want is just to have her stay by your side. And everytime u look at happy couples, all u can do is wish and dream that things could be this way. In a moment of anger u may say things like 'since u are happy without me, then leave me', but u know u neva wanted her to leave, neva.. But no matter how hard it is, u just thought doing anything for her is worth it, bcos when that feeling comes, its about her, not u anymore. I miss her.

2006-05-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

hey guys! changed my skin. then my mei say it suited me..cos its GAY. =.= haha. zzz. anw Apologies for not updating for such a long time. I've been kinda busy. Swim comps..CTs.. Yeah. haha. i even had to some stupid essay on social ills for eng to be handed in on the last day of school la. So was like chiong-ing it on thursday night. Resist all my temptations for entertainment. haha. Then on that day must hand in ppts on medicine in ancient societies. But i never do oso. haha. i told my teacher i gonna send to her by email today but din bother to do. Spent like more than half a day doing nothing. 1 moment watch tv..then play game..then go sleep. Then comes training. haha. oh wells. cant be bothered about school work now. cos my brain is like so dead la. and i mean D-E-A-D DEAD DEAD DEAD. I cant even think properly now la. Keep on forgetting stuff like some idiot. haha. oh wells. went for lunch with Jia Hao and his fren on thurday. Then we were like talking about girls.. hahaha. We were discussing what kinda girls nice. cos JH said he saw this super duper caoji chiobu that day. and he said..she was hot as in H-O-T HOT!! He said she was around 19s and wore this dam short skirt that made quite a few guys stare at her. So since she was listening mp3 and got irratated..according to JH..she looked like the sexiest woman int he world. HAHA. oh wells.. then on friday actually intended to watch X-III with some frens but turn out we wasted like 2 hours walking in and out of shops seeing stuff without buying them. Then i jus joined them for lunch and went home cos right after that had training. come to think of this. dont u think our life is so erm..restricted? yeah the term is restricted. See adults work to earn money. No work no income. So they're like bound to this condition that they have to work. And we students? well our responsibiilty is to study. So in this case school and homework datelines are the bloody boundaries. And as for sportsmen like us..we still have CCA commitments to achieve. wth. hais. Feel like i'm being dam cynical here. lol. well. got some stupid 3.47 for my GPA. sux la. i think im even below average in my class lorrs. hais. got ppl getting what..3.91. OMFG. dono how they study la. get so high. its like before they do any assignments or tests they already know the answers beforehand la. i mean..how could u possibly get like wat 80% for everything? that's like pure ownage la. and im the one being owned. so demoralising. And i ask the stupid Tze Kang how much he get..he PRETEND to hide his paper and i saw 3.60. Then he was like smiling la!! Mocking me xia. lolx. Hmm..so here the June hols come. Sea Age is like in a few days time. So All the best to the people going man. Good luck and u better own the ASSes of other countries. haha. All the way JH..break the bloody 50m Breast record man. hahs. shit. hols gona be like dam bored la. well not really. but probably bcos i don wanna do work so end up lazing around wasting time. Lucky this hols not so much major assingments la. quite slack mayb? gotta read like 3 chinese books and write review with some other work. ZZZ. BEST OF ALL..there's even more training. Then got some club camp in the last week, which i dont think im going cos im think im gona join singapore opens. lol. dono la. Oh and i got a new piano!! lols. bought it for like 4k or smth. the touch dam nice. not really used to the sound though. and my stupid mei keep saying piano for guys is gay. ARGH. i mean..wats so gay man. Beethoven and Mozart are males too. Do you mean they're gay too?!?! hahahs. man i gotta learn howda chill man. mind is like boggled with numerous troubles. The thing is..i dont quite forget thingsquite easily. So like this bad or sad thing happen to me..it'll like affect my whole bloody week or smth la. hais. mayb im sowrrying too much? But they say tension makes u perform better. But as for me..im being literally KILLED by stress la. hais. Life is...dono what to say.. hais. How nice would it be for me to be erm..not born? Imagine yourself like some kinda sleeping body. so nice!! don hafta think about anything.. HAHA. crap. how i wish things were simple. jus say u want it and u get it? hahahs. sigh. ok. Here's a lame joke by Ben Yeo. What happens to a car made of wood? with wooden sits, wheels and everything else. It WOODEN move. =.= get it? lol. diaoz. haha. kk. i guess this is about it. Gdnight!

2006-04-25T21:18:00.000+08:00

heys. its been like 2 weeks since i last blogged. haha. anw. had loads of fun at asean cup. played cards..slacked. and i get to see my SOMEONE'S baby photo!! hehe. oh and i managed to swim 57 for 100 free!! omg. thats like a miracle for me la. cos i've neva even reached a 58 before that. hahahs. i guess we always tend to underestimate our capabilities? i remember hearing a speech by Mark Chay. he asked us to reach our hands out for the ceiling as far as possible. then he said whenever u think thats the limit, u actually have the ability to reach out and go futher. inspirational? hahahs. The last day of asean cup was so fun. cos my club won and to celebrate the occasion, i think almost everyone got pushed into the pool with their clothes on la. haha. And the farewell dinner was super entertaining. especially the part when mansheng and kenneth crash the dance la. They were super funny. Everybody was looking at them instead of the girls who spent 3 months before this to rehearse la. hahahs. oh well..life is so rush now. Cts are just round the corner. So its like go school..pay attention in class..mug mug..lots of tests too..then everyday reach last lesson sort of cannot tahan already. eyelids are drooping like shit le. hahahs. then afterthat go training and get very shagged as usual afterthat. then FINALLY get to go home..TO MUG.. wth. life sux man. There's like so many things to study for CT. and i mean ALOT..so much so that u don even what to start studying first la. The amount of stuff u have to study for chinese and maths is.. =.= zzz... sigh. Hopefully i do well for my CTs to pull up my marks for my CAs..which are hmm..i guess quite screwed up. haha. Tomorrow's learning journey day and my class suay kena the alter slot la. then the thing will end at like 6 la. omg. pure waste of time. and now have to study for physics quiz tmr.. i guess its time for hardcore mugging from now on. guess i wont blog until after CT? haha. cyas!

2006-04-11T21:26:00.002+08:00

hellos. finally got this extra time to blog. haha. shit man. i screwed my maths test. altogether already -8 marks and its upon 30 la. omg. who knows i might even lose more marks for some stupid calculation or whatever. hais. i guess ive been slacking too much. so ive decided to be hardworking!! haha. be more attentive in class and never miss out a single thing (although i still listen mp3 in eng lesson during other groups oral assesment. cant be bothered la. its the most boring subject and one which im worst at. LOL) anw..life is so fast-paced in singapore la. im beginning to question whether im lucky to be born as a singaporean student. so dam stressed up. project after project, work after work, revision after revision. there isnt any time for leisure activities la. play, chat and fail test. wth. there never seems to be a break anywhere in the school cirriculum. jun hols? nah..jus an opportunity for giving us more projects to do. sigh. even beatrice cho says our stress level is much much higher than during her time la. im glad shes showing some sympathy although she say "what can i do? im given instructions" when we ask her "y do u still give us more work". then i told tze kang..our life is eat, sleep, work, swim. we live to work. then he thought for a while and said.."but we work to live". wow. hahahs. i mean what were both saying is so true la. makes sense right. "We live to work, but work to live". think about it..hahs. k. i guess thats all for tonite? hah. cya!

2006-03-26T09:19:00.000+08:00

Hey..its like 9.15 in the morning now..everybody's training and here i am blogging. Why? All because my dad says he cannot freaking wake up to fetch me to training. He blames me for not waking him up and says it's suppose to be MY freaking resposibility to wake him up instead. WTF! i'm dam freaking pissed now la..I mean..all of your parents can wake up and fetch u for training and here he is telling me i'm the one at wrong. FUK HIM!! KNNBCCB!! Then he blames me for playing game until so late and i'm like wtf..its got nth to do with HIM waking up late.. FUK la..This is not the first time already la..he's like freaking irresponsible..i even told him before i sleep that i wanted to go morning training and he comes neglecting me..FUK..what happens in the end? i end up telling other ppl (especially my meimei) that i'm going training and i din turn up..always making her disappointed (so sorry)..like i'm a person who often makes empty promises..FUK la..how to be good lidat? i wanna work hard so can do better the next upcoming competitions and he is like here depriving me of my training sessions..worst of all..EVERYTHING is my fault..ARGHH!!!! *PISSED*

2006-03-19T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hihi..today is the first day of NAG..and i did dam badly la..swim wat 1.13 for 100 back?!?! wtf lorr..so slow..lose to my mei summore..LOL..always die out in 2nd 50...summore i slipped twice on the bloody board la..during push off and turning..shit la..the god damn board so slippery..sigh..rainer is GODLIKE..he broke the national record with a time of 1.02.66 for 10 back!! WELL DONE DUDE :D haha..the first 2 in their age was faster than our first place la..hahahs..so funny.. Walau i feel like joining COE la..so motivated..hate my coach's training la..not effective for me at all lorr..whole day long D long D until i forgot how to sprint alreadie..then do wat stupid drills..OMG..practically wasting my time..sigh..hope i do better on tuesday..got 3 events..haha..maybe im quitting swimming soon..don seem to be achieving anything..SIGH..)):

2006-03-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

hey...so bored so i jus decided to blog for a while.. haha sigh..nag is next week..dono whether im prepared..i really wanna get into sea age la..sounds like fun..well and bring glory? anw hmm..about this gal i like...dont seem to get anywhere with her..all i want is her attention..jus a bit..a teeny weeny bit.. for jus a while..a very short while..but i jus cant seem to get it either.. mayb i should i jus give her up? i dono..she thinks im always joking..well..i really really like her and i feel like im breaking down..the way she talks really tells me she prefers another guy..i really dono wat to do..sigh..wouldve jus gave up everything if i could..i guess we're jus not fated to be together? if there was 1 thing in my life i would give up everything for..it really was her..its like no matter what im doing i always think of her in my mind..sigh..its the first time ive eva felt so much for a girl in my life..how i wished i hadnt met her..then all these wouldnt have happened..sigh..T.T

2006-03-04T00:20:00.000+08:00

hi..erm..ya i guess this is my first blog? haha. I really need help in finiding nice templates and how do you put music on this? Tips..anyone? thanks :D